Bob Massie

Years ago I took some flying lessons and the first thing they teach you is “straight and level flight.”   Sounds easy, right?  Just go straight ahead and keep going at the same altitude.

Well, it turns out that it can be more challenging than it looks, because there are three dimensions, formally known as pitch (nose goes up or down), roll (end of wings go up or down), and yaw (nose and tail start to skid around horizontally) and you have to think about all of them at once.  And the plane is being subjected to lots of outside forces that would like you to slip away from that straight and level path.

That’s one reason there are so many instruments in an airplane cockpit – they really only make sense if they are correctly related to each other, and to where you want to go.

I mention this because it offers an analogy for the last three weeks, where I have been trying my best to fly straight and level and where there have been many small and some bigger bumps that have tried to push me to pitch, roll, or yaw in my recovery from liver transplant.  This is one reason I have had many, many tests, especially blood tests, as my physicians have steadily adjusted my medications and then checked to see what biochemical impact the changes had.   Or looked inside me with an MRI to make sure all the ducts were still flowing properly (it seems so).

The most persistent problem has been a high bilirubin count.   Bilirubin is a substance that is part of the normal breakdown of hemoglobin (red blood cells) and accounts for the yellow (or darker) color of urine or the yellow tinted skin and sometimes eyes of people with jaundice (which means “yellowness).  The pathway of the breakdown is from the blood to the spleen to the liver, where it is connected to bile, and then out the urinary system.   A high bilirubin count means that this process is not fully functioning.

If two other indicators were also high, the doctors would be very worried about such dangerous possibilities as rejection.   But those other numbers are relatively low and stable.   So they believe that the bilirubin may be because of the bacterial infection I had or because of the continued annoyance of the liver (and bile ducts) by the hepatitis C virus.

Last week I was slowly gaining in strength, and then got a “sneezing cold” – nothing serious – that put me flat on my back for three full days, revealing to me how weak I was and worrying everyone.   Then, starting on Sunday, I snapped back.   Today I was well enough to go over to Harvard Law School with Marcy Murninghan and pick up my Harvard ID card (as a “visiting scholar”) and visit my carrel.  We got the chance to say hello to the new dean, Martha Minow, who has been a friend for many years, and we noticed that her sister’s influence could already be felt on the school in the poster we saw for Dean’s Movie Night.  (For those of you who don’t know, Nell Minow I would say only a) one of the greatest human beings ever and b) look her up.)  I came home – and was wiped out.

Next week I will begin taking the interferon and ribavirin that the doctors are hoping will hold the hepatitis C at bay, slowing its attack on the new liver.   I am not confident about this, since I went through three treatments with this product in the early years of my illness and it did nothing.    And interferon is the stuff your body makes to fight off the flu – and gives you those fun “flu symptoms.”  So I am a little nervous that whatever energy and mental clarity I am gaining will be lost to the renewed Hep C treatment.   That would be rough.   But it also might make me feel better.

Anne is adjusting to the steady demand of teaching two courses fifty miles away and Kate is playing soccer and enjoying sixth grade, while getting ready to participate again in our local community theater as she tries to build her skills as an actress and singer.   Samuel is looking around for different kinds of employment starting in January 2010 (when he formally finishes college) that would allow him to combine his love of China and Chinese, his interest in economic and sustainability issues (he’s an econ major),  and his desire to be gainfully employed.   John is zipping through the fall of his junior year at Duke and is hoping to be chosen to be part of a foreign semester abroad doing marine and river conservation studies in Brazil.    So a lot is going on.   And our house – which has been peeling for years – has a brand new coat of blue paint with white trim – I think it looks better than when it was built a hundred years ago.

I am, even with my diminished energy, still working to draw the attention of our well-intentioned by overly cautious governor and our besotted, lobbyist infested legislature to the economic absurdity and moral bankruptcy of trying to fund state budget gaps by expanding addiction to slot machines throughout the state.   It’s a long battle, but we are making progress – for that, please check out uss-mass.org

In the meantime, thank you for all your help and good wishes (and meals and support) which continue to flow like waves to our home to strengthen us as we continue to try to fly straight and level to our intended destination of lasting health.